Christmas Vacation (finally…aaahhh)

Okay, I'll keep this one short; I'm out of brain power. I just gave birth to an essay about information and cyber power to finish requirements for my last class until January. It's five days until Christmas and tomorrow I'm loading the shrewdness of Spleens into the Dodge Grand Caravan SXT Love Machine and heading north. That's right…north. But don't you worry your little noggin' about snow. I will without hesitation stop and put my family up at a fine hotel with a heated pool if the weather demands it. The next several days will be spent doing some important visiting, eating, catching up, hugging, laughing, and probably a little bit of crying. Take care until I return to cyberspace. Merry Christmas!

-Spleen sends.

First Christmas without Dad

This is my first Christmas since my Dad went to Heaven. You hear many stories about cancer "survivors" and I wanted desparately for my Dad to be a "survivor." It wasn't to be. I received a difficult lesson in resourcefulness and tenacity watching my Mom and Dad fight this killer together. I'm not the first one to hurt this way, I know, but here is something I've had on my mind for a few months. A lot of emotion, a lot of memory; for what it's worth.

Inside Out
The grand introduction was today,
it entered your life after a gradual escalation of pain,
growing until it finally got in your way
and focused the attention of you
On it.

It's been killing you,
invisibly,
from the inside out.

The hands of a surgeon,
burns of radiation,
the ills of chemical solutions,
bring optimism even
to you.

The progress is only a delay,
and the killing continues
from the inside out.

I'm besieged by the tyranny of me,
desperately clinging to the hope of victory,
refusing to believe the inevitability
that is screaming
through you.

Yet the killing continues,
now obviously,
from the inside out.

The circle of loved ones begins
your eyes beg for liberation,
instead we join a quiet caravan
back home
for you.

Because the killing's complete,
too painfully,
from the inside out.

Large gatherings of friends and family,
kind expressions and eulogies,
fitful tears and muddy knees,
evidence of the pain caused by the loss
of you.

A survivor you weren't meant to be;
it killed you
from the inside out.

I love you Dad. See you later.
-Spleen sends.

Twin Tyrannies (I probably should be doing something else...)

No joke. I've got lots to do. In fact, if I was sleeping right now I believe I'd be making better use of my time. But...I'll get sleep later. Since July and into June of next year, the Air Force insists that I read and write quite a lot. The classwork and research could easily consume 15 hours a day. I'll find time for that too. For now, I blog.

I want to briefly introduce you to a couple of ideas that have been bouncing around in my noggin lately. One is a character issue; perhaps it is better described as my struggle against my humanity. It's an inward, personal battle. I've taken to calling it the Tyranny of Me (there's no i in team, but there is a me. you get the picture.). The other is related, but has much stronger outside influence. I call it the Tyranny of the Urgent. I suspect you'll see some of these in future posts. For now, just an introduction.

I was talking to my friend Dragon the other day about the Tyranny of Me (TOM) and his thoughts on the subject will be helpful as I describe it to you. Dragon boils this entire problem down to pride; and that's not a bad way to think of it. It's very simple. It's my daily struggle with pride, selfishness, instant gratification, and entitlement. The desire to fulfill my wants, meet my needs, and complete my personal to-do list often interferes with my desire and obligation to serve my wife, children, and God. The more I think about it the more easily it has become to categorize many of my daily failings as another loss to TOM.

Unfortunately, TOM is not alone. I also fight the Tyranny of the Urgent (TOTU). TOTU is a prioritization problem. Why is it so difficult? Because it is the trying to separate the important from the urgent (yes, this might be a Covey repackaging. Cut me some slack, please.). Don't misunderstand me; there are urgent issues in life. And those issues require attention and action. But, the American lifestyle has a tendency to improperly make all things urgent. So I'm trying to improve my "important" filter so that more important things get through over those unimportant, urgent things. The scary part about TOTU is his relation to TOM; they're brothers. At the very least they are working with the same commander's intent. How do I know? So many times I fall to the temptation of TOM and as a direct result I am fighting TOTU. Ouch.

Okay. TOM and TOTU are my personal Sirens. They sing and Spleen's natural reaction is to run to them (there's a Bryan Adams reference here if you want; sing with me "cuz when the feelin's right, I'm gonna run all night, I'm gonna run to you"). I'll keep working on the filters and you'll likely see my struggles here. And I'm open to thoughts and suggestions.

-Spleen sends.

Strange Way to Save the World

Wow, it's December already! It's difficult to comprehend how quickly a year can pass and every year, as I'm sure most of my adult readers understand, seems to click by at an increasingly quicker tempo. But, no matter how quickly December arrives, I love this time of year!

I love Christmas! I think I learned to love this season from my Mom. I sing with Christmas songs on the radio and cd's well into January. If you happen to pass me while I'm driving alone during this time of year, and you see me singing like I'm in a rock concert, please don't laugh at me; just wish me a Merry Christmas. I love watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (his heart was two sizes too small) and "It's a Wonderful Life" (You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.).

I don't care to decorate, but I love decorations. It was a very pleasant surpise this week to come home and find Christmas decorations beginning to appear around the house. And yesterday, I found great joy watching the kids decorate the tree. They had a great time and did a wonderful job!

Aside from all of the festivities associated with the Christmas season, I am most excited by what Bethany sang about in her Chistmas program tonight. The kids were all in character--some were angels, some were wise men, some were shepherds, Mary and Joseph were there holding a doll that substituted nicely for the baby Jesus--and sang from their hearts the reason we celebrate. Their presentation was titled "The Stranger in the Manger" and made me reflect on the mysterious ways in which God operates.

The Son of God was made the Son of man so that He could redeem the sins of all people. But His arrival was unremarkable. Born of a virgin, in a small town in which the travel-weary couple could not even find a room.

God's gift in the manger was the first Christmas gift! His death, burial and resurrection are powerful; I praise God for His grace. But first He was made a man; and it all started in a manger! That's why I love Christmas!

30 The angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary; for
you have found favor with God.
31 "And behold, you will conceive in
your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus.
32 "He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David;
33 and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end."
34 Mary said to the angel, "How can this be, since I am a virgin?"
35 The angel answered and said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God. Luke 1:30-35 (NASB)

Enjoy December! Celebrate God's first Christimas gift! Sing loudly!

-Spleen sends.